We need to talk about...Anger

On the 26th May 2025 Paul Doyle drove his car into a crowd of Liverpool supporters attending the club's victory parade. The rumours online: terrorism, drug driving, etc quickly faded. This awful event was it seems just a moment of rage from a man who had two sides, the caring family man and a man with a vicious out of control temper. Doyle had just lost it and in the worst possible red mist had driven at and over people in his frustration at being delayed.

It feels like we are getting angrier. Is it just me or are some drivers just a little more aggressive and impatient than was the case a few years ago? We are certainly angrier online. 'Never look at the comments' is a good rule of thumb when you click on certain stories. If you forget the rule, you will see more rage and bile than you would ever wish to see.

Safe Rage

The interesting thing about being in your metal box (the car) or miles away (online) is that this feels like safe rage. You can be as angry as you like without facing the consequences - at least most of the time. So we behave in a way that we generally wouldn't if we were face to face with a real human being. Although that said, I fear that real life is to some extent catching up

Why are we so angry?

Whilst I don't have any real psychology qualifications, there is one thing I remember from a short counselling course I did alongside my degree many years ago: we often get angry because our goals or objectives are blocked. It kind of makes sense. Someone pulling out on me is blocking my aim of getting home to my family safely, someone mocking my view on an issue gets in the way of my desire to appear intelligent. Sometimes it's hard to track the route cause of our own or other people's anger - but asking what aims or goals have been blocked is often a good starting point. The basic needs of being loved, respected, and having value and dignity particularly matter to all of us.

The Rational and irrational soul

'Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.' said Aristotle in one of his easier said than done stating the obvious moments.

Fortunately he also said a little more. He believed that there are rational and irrational aspects of the human soul. The raw emotions are irrational - animals also have these. What makes human souls different is that we have a rational side where we are able to reason and reflect upon our emotions. Thus Aristotle's virtuous/good person is able to handle their emotions, having the self-control to manage their anger as the situation demands.

So worth a pause...

The Psychologist Daniel Goleman has developed this. The human brain is such that our primitive emotional instincts kick in first (he describes emotional responses as 'quick but sloppy') before our more evolved cognitive parts are able to rationalise. It takes emotional intelligence for us to pause and reflect on our anger; whether to express it and how. The division between these two types of thinking shows the importance of taking a pause; it is the difference between reacting in the moment and responding once the strongest part of the emotion has past

The danger and avoiding the temptation

In the New Testament Jesus warns that it is anger that is at the route of murder 'I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.' (Matthew 5:22) Anger is the gateway drug to all sorts of evils. We may not end up murdering someone but uncontrolled and unmanaged anger will affect our work, family and relationships. It has a way of leaking out. When the Catholic tradition compiled their list of the 7 deadly sins, it was for good reason that wrath was one of those that featured

So letting anger out of our gate can cause all sorts of trouble. But our outputs are often the results if our inputs. If we are constantly consuming media content that makes us angry (and that's how the algorithms are designed, anger drives engagement...), or we know that certain people or situations can trigger us, then avoiding those things where we can is likely to help. The calmer our inputs, the calmer our outputs. Paul, in Philippians 4 talks about about meditating on 'whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable' (Philippians 4:7) It is thought that he was in prison when he wrote those words and he sounds pretty chilled so it must have helped him

Of course we can't avoid anger. The Bible records Jesus as getting angry and as Aristotle noted, anger is sometimes the correct and only response. But where we cross the line or reflect that our anger has crossed a line then the verse often quoted at weddings 'Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,' applies. It isn't comfortable but apologising even if it is only partly your fault probably gives you a better night's sleep.